I can do this.

I hold on to my past with a magnifying glass, and my future, with a shotgun.  I am so scared, so betrayed.  My life has turned into this cornucopia of bullshit on the table that I no longer recognize. I have taken the steps to better myself, I am jumping through the hoops, but still struggling to the point if exhaustion.  The people I thought I could count on are gone and I feel myself flipping off God. Come on, is this all you got?  The irony of it all is that I have never felt more stronger or confident.  I've never felt so alone, yet I can do this.